


Nightmare

by Cosmic_Files



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Death, Dreams, F/M, Gay, MSR, Missing, Nightmare, Plot Twist, Sad, heart breaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-15 13:09:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12321705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cosmic_Files/pseuds/Cosmic_Files
Summary: This fic was inspired by a song called Lydia by Highly Suspect and by reading one of my good friends fics.





	1. Mulder's Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by a song called Lydia by Highly Suspect and by reading one of my good friends fics.

Mulder was pacing up and down the hallway.  Thinner strands of his hair stuck to his forehead even though the entire building was colder than Antarctica.  The strong scent of disinfectant filled his nostrils forcefully.  The room numbers were blurring together as he failed to realize that he was picking up his pace.  There had to be an answer for this.  There had to be.  He felt as though his lungs were beginning to fail him as his stars started to dance into his vision.  He finally stopped walking and looked around him.  The pale grey walls looked disgusting to him, far from relaxing.  He looked around for a nurse or someone to give him the answers that he needed.  He rubbed his sweaty palms onto his black slacks as he saw a distinctive female wearing a cornflower nurse’s uniform.  

He took long strides to catch up with her before gently grabbing her shoulder, “Excuse me miss?” Mulder choked out through his dry lips.

Annoyance etched the nurse’s face as she looked up at him, “Yes sir?” She responded as her hands found her hips.   
  


“I am looking for a patient? Scu…Dana Scully.  She was supposed to be here for chemo.  I came in a few hours ago and this hospital…it’s so fucking confusing and I can’t find her and I promised her…I promised her that I would be there for her.” Mulder could swear that his desperation was pouring out through every pore of his body. He fought from shuddering as he pulled his hand back.  He hadn’t realized that he had been squeezing the nurse’s shoulder so tightly.  

He realized her features softened as she nodded, “Come with me, I will look her up and take you to her…okay? Please just…just calm down. Do you need water or juice?  You are looking very pale sir.”

 “Yes,” Mulder nodded as he felt some of the tension escape from his shoulders.  He shook his head as he realized that he hadn’t answered her question, “Oh…right. Water please.  Water is fine.” He responded before following her, loosening his tie even more.  

He gladly accepted the cool glass, running the plastic along his hot forehead.  He knew that Scully was going to be pissed and murder him for being late.  Very, very late.  He only hoped that she would be able to understand when he did show up.  He took a deep breath as he turned around, facing the wall.  He could already see the creases between her eyebrows while her cheeks would flush slightly from her anger.

He felt the corners of his mouth wanting to turn upwards into a smile.  Somehow, this always made him smile because of how thin she could make her lips look.  He heard the nurse clear her throat he twisted himself to face her as he felt his heart sink into his stomach.

“Sir…I am going to uhm…I am going to have this gentleman, Ethan take you to her.” She cast her eyes downwards as a strong, but soft eyed gentleman stepped around her.

“Are you related to her in anyway?”

Mulder could feel the room shrinking in on him as his lungs begged for air.  He felt himself nodding but he couldn’t find the words.  He knew that something extremely bad was going on and he didn’t know if he would be able to handle the words he was about to hear.

Cardiac arrest…Scully… The healthiest person that he knew died of cardiac arrest. All because the chemo that was supposed to be helping her body destroyed her body.  He wasn’t sure that he had heard Ethan correctly the first time.  It was when he said it the second time that he realized Ethan was not kidding.  He wanted to throw up.

Mulder didn’t even realize that he had dropped his glass until he felt the water splash onto his leg. Mulder tried to focus on Ethan, instead he saw black from the corner of his vision as he blinked rapidly.  He gripped the nurse’s desk so hard that his knuckles were turning white.  

“Sir, would you like to sit down?” Ethan’s steady voice broke through his clouded head.

“Yes,” Mulder responded. He didn’t recognize his own voice as he straightened himself to follow him.  His feet felt like lead as he followed Ethan to the elevator, watching in horror as he hit the B button.  He knew what was in the basement.  It was where all hope died. It was where the cure was never found.  

The doors dinged as they opened to streak free metal walls.  Mulder felt as though he was in an alternate universe.  He so badly wanted this to be a dream.  He begged to a god that he didn’t believe in that this was a dream.  He heard a door beep open before a rush of cold air hit his clammy body.  He stared at the rows of metal doors on the wall as he followed a squeaky tech to one of the tantamount doors.

He felt as though someone hit him in the gut as the thin white sheet was pulled back.  Scully’s stiff body splayed out before his eyes.  

“I will give you some time,” The muddled voice of the tech barely broke through his haze.  

Mulder wanted to touch her, but if he touched her then he knew that Scully was dead.  The last thing he wanted was for this to become a reality.  He struggled to swallow the lump of emotions past his Adam’s apple as he stared at her features frozen in peace.

With a shaking hand, he ran his fingers through his hair before turning quickly and finding a trashcan. He heaved his dinner into the metal container before slowly straightening himself, “I can’t fucking breathe; let alone believe this truth.”

He reached out shakily, to move some of the fiery red strands away from her prominent cheekbones. The cold room was suffocating him. He knew his lungs were working but there wasn’t nearly enough oxygen in this room, even though he was the only one breathing.  Mulder screamed as her eyes snapped open, revealing her icy blue eyes, “Mulder? Mulder?”

Mulder sat up screaming, struggled against the sheets twisted so tightly around his body.  He felt Scully shaking his shoulder.  He struggled to see her against the back light. He felt his breathing slow down as her features swam into his features.  It was freezing in his bedroom, but she was warmer than a fire.

“Shh, Mulder. I am here,” She murmured as she pushed away the strands of hair away from his forehead.

Mulder wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling her neck, breathing in her warm scent.  “Thank god.  You are alive Scully.” He murmured brokenly as he listened to her heartbeat.

“I am alive, and here, “She murmured soothingly as she felt his body relax against hers. 

__  
  


 


	2. Scully's Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suggest listening to Haunted by Maty Noyes. Yes, this will add more pain but it will also make more sense.

Scully ran her fingers along her arms, enjoying the feeling of the softness of her robe as the smell of coffee permeated her apartment.  She inhaled deeply, feeling the stillness all around her.  She walked to her cabinet, as her coffee maker beeped, pulling down her favorite mug.  She added almond milk and only a spoonful of sugar; concentrating as her coffee became a deliciously warm beige color.  She blew the steam away before feeling the liquid warm her entire body.  She felt her shoulders relax as she padded to her living room. 

She clicked on her radio to fill the silence before reaching for her latest copy of the Journal of Medicine.  She never liked feeling like she was an idiot and this helped her feeling like she was keeping up with the times.

She had nearly finished her coffee when she realized it was nearly nine in the morning.  Scully stood, stretching her palms to the ceiling before heading towards the bathroom when she saw a shadow in the corner of her eye.  She could swear that she had locked her door last night since that was always the first thing she did when she got home.

She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, before laughing at herself, “Don’t be stupid.  No one is here,” Scully muttered under her breath before she grabbed her mug, finishing off the last cold sip. She turned, heading towards the kitchen.  She took a few more steps before seeing the same shadow in the corner of her eye.  She looked to the right side of herself, once again seeing nothing.  She let out a shaky laugh this time.

She took a deep shaky breath, pinching the bridge of her nose as she squeezed her eyes shut. _Stop letting your head play games with you.  There is no one here besides you Scully.  Pfaster and Tooms are dead and you are on no one’s radar since Mulder left._ She opened her eyes, her throat tightening before she could even scream. 

She looked at the two young children holding hands, while staring at her with a dead gaze.  It only took her a mere second to recognize who they were, “Em…Emily?!  William?!”

Knots of guilt filled her stomach as she her mug fell to the floor, shattering on her linoleum.  Even though she knew it was medically impossible, she felt like she forgot how to breath.  She swallowed back the knot of emotions before walking towards them on trembling legs.

“How did you get in here?” She quipped as she stretched her hands outwards.

“Why did you leave me mommy?” William questioned without blinking.

Scully stared at his overalls with his white t-shirt and black sneakers.  She pulled her hand back swiftly, unsure if she should touch him.  His red hair fell sloppily to the tops of his ears.  She stared at how he had Mulder’s jawline. 

“I…I didn’t leave you baby,” Scully choked out, “I…I have to protect you baby boy. Please believe me!” She begged as tears pricked her eyes.  She never wanted her son to think that she left him.  She felt her heart break painfully.

“You did leave me Mommy. You abandoned me.”  William responded in a dead panned voice with his unforgiven eyes.

“You let me die,” Emily appended as she stared at Scully as well.

Scully could feel their gaze ripping into her soul.  She felt her tears pouring down her face as she desperately tried to find her words.  Instead she felt the carpet biting at her knees as she heaved for air.  How could she have ever thought she would have been a good mother?  She let her daughter die and she gave her son up.  She knew that she never deserved either. 

“I tried Emily.  I tried to find a cure, to help you.  I tried so hard…I ran so many tests…I have never seen your illness before.” She stammered out apprehensively.  Scully could feel the rug burn forming on her knees as she held her hands out.  She felt the overwhelming urge to hug and comfort her children.  She sniffled, wiping her nose on her sleeve, coming within inches of them.

She tilted her head as she noticed their ethereal glow.  She knew that Emily had died before feeling her eyes widened to the size of quarters, “William…no! NO! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SAFE!” She screamed as her hand went right through his.   

“You let us die,” William and Emily said in unison as they stepped away from her. 

“No…no…no…I…I didn’t mean to let you…please…please!” Scully felt her hands slapping the linoleum as she crawled towards them.  She felt a black hole in her chest, as her head became light.  She was not getting enough oxygen as she heaved for more.  She felt her arms become weak as she fell forwards onto the floor. 

“You. Let. Us. Die.” The repeated as they stopped moving, forever frozen in childhood.

Scully felt the strong urge to follow her children into that light.  She had failed them, and now she knew that she failed Mulder in maintaining a son.  She heaved another shaky breath as it felt like their words were smashing her head in. 

 _You let us die.  You let us die.  You let us die.  You let us die.  You. Let. Us. Die._ They changed over and over.  She heaved another breath as she pulled herself to her knees, “You’re…you’re right.  I am so sorry.  Mommy is so, so sorry.  I should have never given up!”

Scully ignored the pain that shot through the soles of her feet as she walked through the small pile of broken glass.  She looked at her children’s out stretched hands as she felt her own arms stretch towards them, “Mommy is so…so sorry.  You know that I love you so, so much.  I fought.  I did what I thought I had to do.” She stammered.

“Join us. Join us now.” William responded as he stretched out his own hand towards her.  Scully felt a sad smile tug at the corner of her lips as she stepped closer to him, a trail of blood following her steps.  Mulder is gone and she just wanted to be happy.  She had failed her children once and she was not about to fail them another time.

“Mommy is coming, and I promise to protect both of you,” Scully was almost within reach as she heard pounding on her door.

“Dana! Dana!” She heard, but ignored.  She kept her eyes on William and Emily…her dead children.  She snapped her head to the right as her mom came into view.

-

-

Scully’s eyes snapped open as she felt her mother’s hands squeezing her shoulders and wiping at her forehead, “Dana! Wake up! You are having a bad dream!” Maggie said as her kind face swam into Scully’s vision in the dim light of her bedroom. 

Scully felt her heart drop into her stomach as she hugged her mom tightly.  Maggie gently rocked their bodies as she smoothed her hair, “It was just a dream honey,” She murmured soothingly as Scully realized she was crying.

She now lost Emily, William, and Mulder.  She had never felt so alone. 


	3. Charlie's Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that I pair with this chapter is Exit Song (For A Film) by Radiohead!

Charlie topped off his sister’s glass of wine, smiling at how relaxed she was.  He felt Wyatt take his hand, kissing the back of it.  He noticed how Melissa was smiling even bigger. She was the only person in his family that he had bothered to keep a relationship with after he came out.  Well…a steady one that is.  He made sure to talk to Dana at least once a month and his Mom on the holidays.  His father and brother were pretty much dead to him. 

“So…when are you two going to tie the knot?!” Melissa questions before taking a sip of her wine.   

Charlie glanced at Wyatt before looking at her, “Well…we were thinking about going to New York to get married soon and we would love for you to come with us.  It is one of the few legal states.” Charlie could feel the blush that was warming his face.

Melissa jumped to her feet, clapping, before pulling them into a tight group hug, “Oh my god! I better be invited or I will kick both of your asses!” Melissa said as she started to cry happy tears.  Charlie gently patted her back before pulling away.

“Well, I we were actually hoping that you would be our witness,” Wyatt quipped before taking a sip of his wine.

“Are you kidding me?! How could I say no to the both of you?! Of course, I will be your witness and I would love to see my favorite couple get married.” Melissa smiled widely.

Charlie released a breath that he didn’t realize he had been holding.  He glanced at the clock realizing that it was nearly ten in the evening, “Do you want to spend the night here?” Charlie asked as Melissa polished off her glass of wine.

“Actually, I kind of want to go home.  I forgot to leave Orion food in his bowl.  I swear that cat has a worse temper tantrum when he is hungry versus whenever he is fed.  Plus, I have work tomorrow.”

Wyatt cocked an eyebrow as he looked at her, “Since when are you on time to work?” He questioned.

Melissa paused as she pulled her coat on, “Since I have a very cute and very single new co-worker.”

Charlie let out a deep belly laugh as he walked her to the door, “I should have figured, but whatever. Will you call me when you get home? I promise that I will give you dates so we can fly to New York together. Okay?”

Melissa gently placed a hand on his cheek as her eyes softened with love for her brother, “I promise to call. I wish that Mom and Dad could be there, but I know they won’t.  It is so unfair to you Charlie.  You deserve all the love that Dana, Bill and I get.  I mean…Wyatt is such an amazing man and I am so happy that you two found each other.  Please…reach out to them? For me?” She said softly.

Charlie felt his spine stiffen even though he didn’t want it to.  He paused, biting his lip, unsure of how to even answer his sister. He knew that his sister wanted nothing more than their family to be a family again but that would never happen.  Charlie could still hear the last words his Father said to him before he walked out the door as his Mom stood their motionless.  He remembered the way Dana looked as she ran after his car.  The words his Father said still stung him to this day.  It was not something that he was sure he could ever forgive. 

 

“Melissa…I know you want us to be a family…the way we were, but we can’t.  I will always remember what our Father said to me and it is not something that I can forgive.”

Melissa crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him, “What _did_ he say to you Charlie? You never told me!”

Charlie looked at his feet before he looked up at her.  The last thing he wanted to do was harm their relationship.  He didn’t understand why he was still begging for his Father’s love that he would never get, “Melissa, you are my sister.  I love you so much.  You will forever be my side kick.  I honestly couldn’t ask for a better person in my life, however, I will not tarnish your relationship with him.  I know how you are and I know how you react to things.  I will not let you break a relationship that you deserve to still have.  He loves you Missy and you are going to keep him in your life.” Charlie added with a curt nod of his head.

He could see the conflict that was passing through her eyes.  He knew how protective she can get.  He felt the corners of his mouth twitch when someone made the mistake of calling him a fag in front of her.  He pulled her into a tight hug instead.

“It wouldn’t change my relationship with Dad.  You know we don’t have a very strong one.  Scully is the one that is his favorite daughter and Bill his favorite son.  We both know we are the black sheep of the family.  Why do you think we get along so well?”

Charlie let out a snort, “Do you remember what happened when someone called me a faggot in front of you?”

“Yea…I almost went to jail for assault.  What’s your point?”  She questioned as she wrapped her scarf around her neck.

“I am scared as to what it is you would do to Dad,” He said honestly. 

Melissa let out a huff as a signal that she was giving up, “Okay, okay.  I will call you in a couple of days.  I will get home fine.  I love you and I can’t wait to plan out our trip to New York. Okay?” Melissa said as she gave Charlie one last tight hug.

Charlie smiled and kissed her forehead, “I expect to hear how things go with your coworker okay?” He smirked, locking the door after she left.  He smiled to himself as he walked towards Wyatt.

 

Charlie woke up feeling as though his heart had been torn in two.  The only person in their family to have given a shit about him was dead.  He turned away from Wyatt, as the ugly red numbers on the clock told him it was one in the morning.  He buried his face into his pillow as he felt his body shaking.  He couldn’t breathe.  He missed his sister so much that he wanted to die just so that he could see her again.

His dreams constantly were haunting him.  He never got to go to New York with her.  Instead, they had someone else be a witness for them two years later because he couldn’t bring himself to get married without her there.  He felt Wyatt wrap his arm around him, pulling Charlie close to his body.

“Did you have another dream?” He questioned with a thick sleep infused voice.

“I am sorry.  I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Charlie responded through his hiccups. 

Wyatt rubbed circles onto his back as gently kissed away Charlie’s tears, “I know you are hurting.  You lost your sister, side kick, and best friend.  You lost her in the worst way possible and in a way, that she didn’t deserve to die.  I can’t understand how much it hurts, but I know you are in pain.”

Charlie sat up, staring into the darkness as he felt Wyatt doing the same thing, “I lost the only person in my family that gave a damn about me.  Now…I have this hole in my heart that will never get filled.  I will never get to see her, or hug her, or hear her laughter ever again.  I feel like I will never have that place in my heart again filled with love.” Charlie whispered. 

Wyatt pulled him close, giving him a soft kiss, “We are our family.  I promise to love you forever.  I promise that one day, you will get to see your sister again.”  

 


End file.
